I've done three assertiveness courses in recent years and I know in theory how assertiveness works. So why can't I do it? Why do I spend my time agreeing to things I don't want to do, not asking for what I want and being treated like dirt.
I've spent a year and a half in my job and I don't have holiday pay or a contract. I know that's illegal and just plain mean but I can't bring myself to ask about it. I tell myself I'm leaving soon so it won't matter but after a year and a half I'm still there. I live in terror of upsetting people, rocking the boat etc etc.
It's the whole childhood bullying thing coming back to haunt me - if I upset them they'll reject me and make my life not worth living. That's what goes on in my head every time I think about being assertive.
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